The control we be studying is an advertise workforcet for Mitchells Golden wheedle Cig atomic number 18ttes. The advertisement was made during WWI therefore it is base and inspired by a war theme. It is from the World war One in 1914 and shows a scene from a dump with soldiers. There argon a number of inaccuracies in the picture which would not sop up been in the dig in. I doom to bit these out and apologize what would have been different in a real trench. I also intend to let off why the picture has been lam this way. Firstly the most f exclusivelyacious error of each is the soldiers foolish and ill-chosen grin on their faces which make them seem as if they be looking out front to death. There is evidence supporting the incident that many soldiers obtained jam shock because of the trench warfare. It would be shockingly reckless if whizz were to beam cheer waxy with delight afterward being sensible that the chances of death are soaring. In a real trench, the se men would have been anxious and petrified. Next the positions of the soldiers are ridiculous; wholeness in particular is standing on summit of the trench revealing his entire body and smiling at whiz time at their opponent practically waiting to be fling to death. In an actual trench the soldiers would have been punctuateing to take away themselves as much as possible, and clutching their rifles whilst praying for their lives to be spared. My next depict is the pleasant clean atmosphere. Their uniform suggests that they are going to a parade- with an ironed jacket, soft parade hats, and nicely groomed dogshit cuts and mustaches. This was not the case in the actual war; the soldiers were all grubby and filthy. The picture has neglected all negative influences the equal the barbed wire, dead carcasses... Overall, this is an okay paper. it has a lot of big(p) points, and the idea s are clearly stated. tho, there are also ! close to things that could be improved upon.
Good things: great transitions between paragraphs. distinctly stated. fair words that flow. Needs improving: some of the sentences are niggling and choppy, could use more detail. Uses I and my a lot, a smashing paper doesnt need those words because personal views should be assumed. The dissertation also needs a little editing. I was move with your essay as you introduced many thoughtful points that provoked questions for myself. I was very impressed with your use of transitions as they seemlessly joined the paragraphs together. How ever, evidence to avoid the use of first person (I, we, you, us), and you have a few grammar mistakes. Green Smilie. Although there are some mistakes still this is very impressive with some very computable points. I LIKED IT. Good flow between paragraphs and lots of good points covered. some mistakes, not sure about choice in source sentence. Overall Good. If you want to get a full essay, identify it on our website:
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